Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Behind You’ on Hulu, a Dull Collection of Weary Horror Movie Cliches – Decider

Now on Hulu, Behind You is a horror movie that aims to scare you so much, youll be looking [INSERT MOVIE TITLE HERE] for the next few days, hoping there isnt a ghoul or beastie back there. The movie, by first-time directors Matthew Whedon (Joss Whedons brother) and Andrew Mecham, may or may not live up to my interpretation of the title, depending wholly upon your susceptibility to low-rent scares, or how many other horror movies youve ever seen. Unfortunately, one may be too many.

The Gist: Its 1979, which is, perhaps coincidentally, or perhaps not, the same year The Amityville Horror came out. Beth (Caroline Labrum) and her friend Charles (Sterling Evans) watch as something visible only in a mirror snatches her younger sister Rachel (Skyler M. Day) with a shriek thats like a chefs knife being dragged across violin strings, and then we smash-cut to the next scene, subtitled 40 YEARS LATER. Olivia (Addy Miller) and her younger sister Claire (Elizabeth Birkner) are in a car driven by a family friend, Camilla (Aimee-Lynn Chadwick). Their mother is recently dead and their father is in another country, unreachable by modern communications, so I assumed hes off convening with the howler monkeys or axolotls.

They pull up to the same house from 1979. It hasnt changed a bit, even the ugly wallpaper and whatever supernatural bullshit is happening in the mirrors. Beth is now Aunt Beth (Jan Broberg), the girls only living relative apparently. Theyre greeted by Charles (Philip Brodie), who has magically aged into what appears to be roughly a 36-year-old man; he takes care of things like gardening and meals because Beth, in his words, is not well, which does not bode well, because once we meet her, it sure seems to be an understatement, and this guy seems to be trying too hard to be nice. But Camillas gotta go, she has things to do, see ya, have fun with the crazy old belfry-bat and her platonic man-friend with the strained smile and cloying voice, and good luck not being abused!

Ol Aunt Scowler shows them around the place, telling them where they cant go: Not the study, not the basement, not the kitchen when it isnt mealtime, and oh, by the way, if you hear any weird bumpity things at night, its just Aunt Beth, sleepwalking again like a silly goose. She says nothing about not speaking an anti-enchanted phrase three times into the mirror thats hidden in the basement thatll inevitably be broached; one assumes Beetlejuicing like that is a bad idea, but Aunt Beth should know better what happens when one assumes things. Anyway, the four of them sit down for dinner and Charles hands Aunt Beth a book on necromancy BUT ITS NOTHING REALLY, MOVE ALONG, MOVE ALONG. We then learn that Claire has a peanut allergy because Charles put a bit of peanut butter in the recipe to thicken the sauce, and the poor kid needs to be epipenned, something that absolutely wont have any bearing on the plot in the third act, no doubt.

Now its the first night, and the girls are already dicking around with forces beyond their understanding, as you do. Olivia peels back a bit of wallpaper to find a mirror with Something Effed Up in it, and Claire starts following orders dictated by her stuffed bunny, who murmurs in the dark and wispy corners of the soundtrack. And nothing ever came of this and they lived happily ever after. The end.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Besides the slight thievery from Candyman and The Exorcist and a possibly all-too-subtle nod to Flatliners, Behind You brings to mind many horror movies with pseudo-freaky two-word titles, including Youre Next, Get Out, Dont Breathe, Dont Look, Dont Think, Dont Sleep, Dont Dream, Dont Awake, Dont Dont, What Now, Help Me, Sleep Tight, Left Behind, Knock Knock and its sequel Whos There (and the third in the trilogy, You Who), and if some of these are actually good, thats coincidental, and if some of them dont exist, well, maybe they should.

Performance Worth Watching: Im afraid nothing in this movie is worth watching.

Memorable Dialogue: Camille pulls up to Aunt Beths horseroar psycho house and blurts what seem to be famous last words: This doesnt look so bad, does it?

Sex and Skin: None.

The mostly invisible monster is a reflection of its very modest budget or glaring lack of decent ideas. Its got unconvincing speeches that explain the concept in vague terms explanations that wouldve gone a long way during the first act, but that cant happen, because theyre tied to Whedon and Mechams need to foster distrust in certain characters so they can fake us out later in the movie, even though we can see its meager twists coming from light years away. This is the kind of movie thats dumb enough to introduce the Fake Denouement with 22 minutes left in the run time. Its the kind of movie where a gun and a butcher knife are left under a towel in an unlocked car so its easier for others to grab them. Its the kind of movie thats an arid expanse of plot thirsting for a single droplet of logic and sense. Its profoundly derivative.

Our Call: SKIP IT. If you watch this highly forgettable scarefest, itll be a matter of seconds before you put it [INSERT MOVIE TITLE HERE].

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.

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Stream It Or Skip It: 'Behind You' on Hulu, a Dull Collection of Weary Horror Movie Cliches - Decider

Reviewed and Recommended by Erik Baquero