Scary Movie Wimps, You Will Be Okay Watching Get Out – Vulture

Daniel Kaluuya in Get Out. Photo: Blumhouse Productions

If youre like me, you are a scaredy-cat, a grown little baby, a wimp who doesnt like scary movies precisely because they are scary movies. Why would someone pay to be scared? Thats like paying to be yelled at by your boss. Scary movies are like comedy, but instead of laughing, youre tricking your brain into thinking its in danger. Why? Who knows. Now, Im not here to yuck anyones yum. If you like scary movies, this post isnt for you. Youre already living a fearless life that Im sure is full of endorphins, and youve probably already seen Jordan Peeles Get Out. This post is for those who keep on hearing how great it is, but dont know if they can handle it. To my coward friends, Im here to say, the water is fine go see Get Out.

Up until yesterday afternoon, I was just like you: I heard that Get Out was supposed to be great but was unsure I could make it through the whole thing. Ive only seen one horror movie in my life Texas Chainsaw Massacre, for a story and hated it so much that I couldnt fall asleep and am still occasionally haunted by images from it. Pals and colleagues told me Get Out wasnt that bad. Its more of a thriller, theyd say. I dont think my friends and co-workers are a bunch of dirty liars, but thats just what they always say. I have been burned before. People who enjoy scary movies are not reliable sources for how scary things are, the same way that I am not a reliable source about how spicy Thai dishes are. My senses have been dulled. If youre a person whos seen a lot of scary movies, you may think youre normal, but to people like me, youre not: You are a creepy creep robot who no longer can be shocked or grossed out.

Now that my wimp bona fides have been established, you can trust me when I say you definitely can see Get Out. Spoiler alert: I am about to very plainly describe frightening things that happen in the movie, in order to prepare you. If you stop reading, there will be things that scare you, which I cant, in good conscience, recommend. I find that knowledge gives me a sense of control that makes sitting through a film much easier, so, first things first, watch the trailers. As horror-movie trailers tend to do, they include the scariest bits from the movie. (Side note: Id pay an extra $5 for a movie if I were assured there wasnt going to be a scary-movie trailer. Oh, youre going to see a dumb comedy where teachers want to fight each other? Before you do that, were going to show you the scariest 120 seconds of a movie about little twin girls who murder their family with backwards German kids music!) In the case of Get Out, the trailer thankfully gives away the most startling jump scare in the movie: when Daniel Kaluuya and Allison Williams are driving and a deer flies in front of their car. However, I should warn you about three others. The first comes in the first scene, when Lakeith Stanfield is walking around the suburbs and a man comes from behind him. My trick for this scene was just to look down until the music told me what happened. I wont give away the other jump scares, but I will say that one is played for a solid laugh, and the other two come at the end, and you can basically predict whats going to happen based on how the action is going.

And if youre someone who gets freaked out by blood and guts, Get Out is not gory at all, full stop. There is some blood in it, but nothing beyond what you might see in an R-rated action film. Rest assured there is not one saw in the entire movie. There are also no creepies in masks or makeup. No splices. No clowns. Instead, the horror is mostly tonal. Things are meant to feel scary and they do, very effectively, but nothing is scary in the way you probably fear. For comparison, its about as scary as the M. Night Shyamalan movies Ive seen. For an even more accurate comparison, its almost exactly scary as the scariest Key & Peele sketch Make-a-Wish. I know youre probably still worried and thats good that gives the film its juice but, at least for me, knowing I would be fine did a lot to ease my worried mind when actually watching the movie.

And even if you hate scary movies, its worth enduring a slight bit of discomfort to see Get Out. Like me, youll probably miss all of the horror allusions (though, like all things, watching The Simpsons helps in understanding the universe a little), but youll still have an enjoyable time. The movie is surprisingly funny though maybe that shouldnt have been a surprise, considering its pedigree and Lil Rel Howrey as a TSA agent is worth the price of admission alone. Beyond that, Get Out is the rare satire thats incredibly effective without being heavy-handed. Peele set out to use the genre to help viewers understand how scary it is to simply be a black person in America. So, despite my heads-up, you will still probably feel a little scared watching Get Out. But dont worry, thats the point.

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Scary Movie Wimps, You Will Be Okay Watching Get Out - Vulture

Reviewed and Recommended by Erik Baquero