Leave the rest of us out of your zombie apocalypse fantasies – al.com

I am aware that theres a virus out there called COVID-19 that has afflicted more than 3 million people around the world. I know that it has killed nearly a quarter of a million people.

Im also aware, as you probably are, too, that theres no cure or vaccine for the virus and that, for now, the unknowns outweigh the knowns. And I understand that our efforts to contain the virus are taking a terrible toll on the global economy.

But heres what I dont understand about COVID-19: Why, in addition to causing fever, body aches, pneumonia and even death, it can cause some people to act like fools.

When theyre upset about a governments policy, normal people write letters or make phone calls to their elected officials. Sometimes they attend town hall meetings so they can speak their piece in public. If those tactics dont seem to be working, they may even march on City Hall.

But normal people dont dress up in militia costumes, sling rifles over their shoulders and barge into the Michigan state capitol building because theyre angry about the governors stay-at-home order. They dont shout at state troopers and assert that the governor is a Nazi.

Similarly, normal people dont defy the Alabama governors decision to keep restaurants, barber shops and nail salons closed for a little while longer. They dont post signs like the one in front of a restaurant near Mobile that said, Kay, let my people go, or else.

Or else? What the heck is that supposed to mean? Is it simply a reminder that they and other Alabamians might vote Gov. Kay Ivey out of office if she runs again in 2022? Or is it meant to suggest something more sinister, that she might actually be in physical danger because shes not re-opening the states economy fast enough to suit them?

Normal people dont threaten governors. Fools, on the other hand, apparently do. They garner TV reporters attention and headlines on the front pages of newspapers across the country. Even if they dont intend to harm governors here, there or anywhere, they are crude, rude and disruptive.

And fools arent content with disturbances and disobedience. They seem to revel in disrupting ordinary peoples lives, too, because well, because thats how fools behave.

Normal people generally keep enough paper products to last for a few weeks. But when a fool decides that although one or two giant packages of toilet paper would last his family a month, he (or she) should buy 10 or 12 giant packages, then other fools rush to the store to buy 10 or 12 giant packages, too, and guess what: Theres not enough toilet paper for the rest of us.

Before you know it, normal people are skulking through grocery stores, dollar stores and discount stores, desperately seeking Charmin. Ditto for hand sanitizer, paper towels, Clorox wipes and Lysol spray.

When fools start buying 30 pounds of ground meat and 10 whole chickens at a time, then the rest of us find ourselves staring at empty shelves in the meat department. When a normal familys upright freezer goes out and cant be repaired because its nearly 30 years old, guess what: That family -- my family -- cant find a freezer in stock at the local appliance store or at any of the big-box stores in nearby cities, because the fools who bought all that meat apparently needed new freezers in which to store it.

For what? I asked a friend in the appliance business. I dont know, he said with a shrug. The zombie apocalypse, I guess.

Thats where the zombie-apocalypse crowd and I diverge. Ive always assumed that when society collapses, so will utility services, meaning that electric freezers wont do anybody much good and that toilet paper -- no matter how much youve stashed -- will eventually run out.

To them and the armed protesters and people who post signs that say Or else, I say this: The COVID-19 pandemic is a terrible thing, but it is not likely to bring about the collapse of civilization, much less of the United States. There is enough meat and toilet paper and freezers for all of us, and stores and restaurants will open in due time.

If I acknowledge that I may never understand what scares you or motivates you, will you in turn stop making life so hard for us normal folks?

Be foolish on your own time and your own dime, please, and leave the rest of us out of your fantasies.

Frances Coleman is a freelance writer who lives in Baldwin County, Alabama. Email her at fcoleman1953@gmail.com and like her on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/prfrances.

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Leave the rest of us out of your zombie apocalypse fantasies - al.com

Reviewed and Recommended by Erik Baquero